Comments on: Borderline Personality Disorder – What Makes It A Serious Mental illness?

By: don haines

don haines — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:06:26 +0000

As a former psychiatric nurse on inpatient units I can truthfully say that the Borderline patient is the most difficult to deal with, because of their self absorption.I’d rather have ten schizophrenics on my unit than one borderline, and having two borderlines can be exhausting due to their destructive behavior. If you admit a Borderline to your unit where you already have one they will find each other immediately and team up. When I hear the word–borderline–I’m glad I’m retired.

By: Jim

Jim — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 01:53:12 +0000

I’ve read some of the comments and living with a borderline is the worst experience of my life. I had to sneak to counseling and tell them what I was living through. I said I wanted to get her into counseling as a means to save our marriage. I was told to leave her because she would probably not seek help, but they said I could try and discuss it with her. I mentioned counseling as carefully as I could and she went into a rage. I knew all along that she was so tempermental, but I thought that she was just a person with a bad temper. I think after years of living in that hell I sorta learned how to navigate with her moods. That’s probably what is meant by enabling behavior. It’s pretty bad when the same question you ask yourself every time your are driving home is ” What is her mood, and I hope I don’t have a lot of explaining to do”. The book entitled ” Walking on Eggshells ” is a good way of putting it. I made so many concessions. I wasn’t allowed to have friends or family. I always had to be the one to say ” I’m sorry “. During our divorce the judge ordered a psychological evaluation on her, the children, and myself. I was diagnosed with going through depression, and she was diagnosed as borderline and paranoid personality tendences. I had to ask why she wasn’t fully diagnosed and the psychiatrist said they needed to do more testing with her to get a more accurate diagnoses. I could write a book relating to all the trauma I put myself and my parents and sister through for 23 years. She once told me in an argurment, ” If I can’t have you I will destroy you”. No truer words were ever spoken. I haven’t seen my children for over 10 years. She told them the worst things that are not true, but they were young and impressionable. I don’t want to ramble on. Thanks for reading this post.

By: JOAN

JOAN — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:46:03 +0000

HOGWASH!!! Psychology is going the way of the dinosaur, and rightly is should!. These morons who get paid to judge without merit don’t consider that human behaviour is one of the most unpredictable things- speak to anyone who deals with all kinds of people, and many of them, on a regular basis- they will tell you the same thing.
If this title “borderline personality” is supposed to be applied too young women who have SUFFERED trauma, it is a way to put these people into a negative light. It’s just an example of blaiming the victim! Of course victims will act differently then those who have never suffered at the hands of another, who wouldn’t be twice shy in further relationships?
It’s easy to see that this was a male doctor trying to assess hormonal young woman and not having ONE CLUE, then morons after him learn his nonsense “theory” from a “textbook” and spread it to the public. Then public Joe uses it as a catch phrase towards people they didn’t treat right but expected compliancy from- such nonsense!

By: JOAN

JOAN — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 00:31:33 +0000

HOGWASH!!!

By: S.D.Roberts

S.D.Roberts — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 20:55:05 +0000

My son’s mother was diagnosed almost 14 yrs. ago by the marriage counselor we saw for a couple sessions as BPD. She refused to go back to him when she didn’t like the fact the couselor seemed to focus on her mental health and problems as the basis for our marital problems. She believed her only problem was just “plain vanilla flavored depression.” She also thought the FACT that she attempted to shoot two husbands (I was her second) during “normal&routine” verbal disputes was perfectly acceptable behavior. She refused to admit to the affair with her boss when married to me or the affair with a coworker when married to her first husband.

She thought soliciting an employee to engage her and the woman’s minor daughter in a 5-way, group sexual experience as normal conduct. This woman has a long history of self-medicating with drugs (marijuana with occasional cocaine, meth,etc.) and alcohol plus the adrenaline rush of wild sexual escapades. (“Sex,drugs, and rock and roll…”)

This woman’s entire existence revolves around her. She verbalizes that she cares for others including her children but when “push comes to shove” her decisions all ultimately have outcomes that benefit only her even if that means excluding, negatively affecting, or even neglecting her family. Her rationalization for making the poor decisions she does are at times so convoluted you don’t know whether to laugh,stare at her in open mouth disbelief, or shake your head sadly over her mental state.

The arguments she and her 3rd&4th husband (same guy) have are legendary and caused her sister to flee their home in the middle of the night to drive home several states away. She couldn’t understand why our son didn’t want visitation with her that would consist of more than a day or the occasional overnight. Consequently, at a cost of several thousand dollars, I was forced to employ attorneys in two states in order to protect the safety and welfare of our son.

When you throw in a history of abortion, suicidal ideology, and extreme violence towards those she claims to love (husbands, lovers, and sadly her own children) you have all the ingredients that make up one very mentally ill person. If I had all the money I spent on attorneys, legal expenses, travel to and from out-of-state court hearings during the divorce, child custody dispute (won that part when she eventually gave up), visitation disputes (won that when she failed to show up for hearing) and moving several states away to live and work where our child would be safer with less exposure to her (please forgive my un-P.C. term here) “craziness” I could’ve saved enough to pay for braces, a new car, and an associates degree education for our boy who is now in high school.

By: Tracey

Tracey — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 00:32:45 +0000

I have suffered from BPD for the past 25 years. I am now 36. I was told that this condition may improve with age but I feel as helpless and out of control as ever, in the midst of an “episode”. Obviously even extensive therapy has not helped me develop coping skills.
I have completed a few 20 week programs and was told also that many psychologists prefer to call this condition Emotional Intensity Disorder.

By: Mickey Havener

Mickey Havener — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 21:11:33 +0000

I have a granddaughter who is certifiably diagnosed with BPD. I suspect her mother also is BPD. When our son decided to leave his wife after almost fifteen years of physical abuse and gender infidelity by his wife, the teen-aged granddaughter accused him of recent sexual abuse–not childhood sexual abuse. The prosecutor withheld the diagnosis of BPD which would almost have guaranteed it would never have come to trial. Our son has been left to rot in prison by these untreated, angry, depressed, unstable woman.

If you have any suspension that you are dealing with one of these people, you need to do all you can to protect yourself against their delusions as you help them to get treatment for their illness. Do not believe that your love will overcome their mental illness. The scripture called mental illness” possession by evil spirits” for a reason.

By: Beth

Beth — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 04:37:17 +0000

I have 2 children (4 and 5) with someone who suffers from BPD, and though we haven’t seen him for 3 years I find my fear of him just continues to grow. As does my loathing. The idea that he could one day pop into the kids’ lives…get joint custody… scares the bejesus out of me. It was really difficult, when in the relationship, to fully grasp how insane everything was; what at first I took as tempermental artist personality and passionate love, I eventually realized was nothing more than toxic and abusive behaviors that grew worse and worse- from “I worship you” one moment to “Die B&%^* Die” the next… episodic rage that could leave most things in the house broken… occasional physical attacks… and the things he kept hidden, like meeting men at hotels that he’d solicited online to engage in extremely dangerous sex with, jeopardizing not just his health/life, but mine and our unborn child’s. I think it takes time away from these people to fully grasp their manipulations and recognize the evil-clown funhouse they’ve turned your life into. Untreated and unwilling to be treated, these people are bad, bad news. Yes, I know, I sound callous and not at all empathetic toward a disorder that people do SUFFER from. However, Charles Manson suffers from something, too, but I would not encourage anyone to attempt a marriage with him. Few people with BPD have the stability to recognize that they have it, so it largely is left up to others to attempt to help them and their indignant attitude (that so quickly turns to another episode of out of control emotions and nonsensical “logic” and accusations and rage) can quickly halt those efforts. But for those who accept what they have and seek help… bless you.

By: tara

tara — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 03:30:49 +0000

i am involved with a man who has bpd and it is a struggle to understand him. we split a month ago and he is finally gettin help for his disorder. it is a struggle and a slow long journey and i doubt my ability to hang in there. i am looking for books that may be of help in dealing with his disorder so i can just try to cope.

By: walter francis

walter francis — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 03:14:31 +0000

I am an adult male of 77 years old. I grew up in a house (home) in wich my father was a depressed indiviual. showing very little if any love toward his 5 children. this was during the depression and times were very difficult for both he, my mother and us children. a 5 minute walk down the street, his mother ,father and brothers lived i never seen his mother or father speak to him or come by our house an visit. though his mother took in seeing we had enough food, old overcoats for blankets of us otherwise we would have froze to death as well as starved to death. His brothers (my uncles) never made an attempt to come by the house, never seen any oe of the 4 of them inside aor house! fortunatly our mother was the salt of the earth, za beautiful, kind women. not that my father was bad, though he did hit us unnecessarly, he just hardly ever spoke to us. i loved my father then and though gone since 1954 i love him today. We children could not have had a better kind and loving mother. my purpose in writing is just to say i have 4 children,acted towards them as my father acted towards us kids. of the 34 2 probably fall within BPD ranges to some extent. my brother had depression as i do. several of my sisters, brothers children have bio-polar. i guess these genes just go on and on. thanks for listening. pea-nut brittle