When a Family Member has Dementia – Do You Worry or Care for him?

By definition, dementia is the collective term wherein a patient experiences a change in personality, loss of memory, and an impairment of the intellectual ability as a result from a trauma to the brain or from a disease. These changes can have an impact on both the person suffering from dementia and the people surrounding the patient especially the family.

In dementia, memory, intellectual status, learning, and communication among others are visibly declining. You might notice in someone with dementia that he repeats the same question even if you have answered it already; he is unable to follow directions easily; becomes easily lost and is disoriented with the time; gets confused with familiar names or cannot recognize someone close in the family; or has a hard time remembering routine tasks such as paying the telephone bills.

For families, this is such a burden both physically and emotionally. Having someone with you for all these years and yet, in one second, he suddenly cannot remember you is such a heart wrenching situation for those family members who are left to take care of the patient.

1. Make simple routines and lessen choices. Keep the normal daily routines of the patient but make them a little less simple. Everyday jobs or errands that is supposedly easy for the patient might now become difficult or hard to comprehend. Example, lessen the choices he has to make when it comes to choosing clothes or picking out the food of it. This way, the patient would not be confused. Simplify things as much as possible.
2. Be calm and patient. Have a calm and serene environment for the patient. Any excitement or an outburst of feelings could easily confuse or alarm the patient. If an argument is inevitable between the families, take it out away from the patient’s scope and deal with it fast.
3. Consistency is the key. Avoid changes with the setting of the house. As much as possible keep things as they were before so that it would not confuse the patient. Keep routine house chores and maintain a positive and light behavior when dealing with the patient. If must, do everything the same way at the same time every day. If change is expected, support the patient and have him ready to face it.
4. They have emotions. Even though they are intellectually impaired, they are not emotionally impaired. They can still sense out if you are sad or depressed with the whole situation. Lighten up and accept things that it is what it is. Praise the patient if he has done something good and encourage him to do so if he has done so. Treat them like an adult as they would act, react, and feel like an adult, treating them like a child would in turn result for them to act, react, and feel like a child.
5. Lower your expectations. Understand that the patient is now intellectually challenged but they are neither incapable nor incompetent. They can still do tasks well and if praised can do a lot better. Lower your expectations to avoid being discouraged from the results and build on these expectations to improve more on your care for that family member.
6. Provide Safety. Family members need to keep their homes safe as much as possible. And with daily tasks given to the patient, supervision must be strict. Knives, hot water, matches, and other hazardous materials should be kept out of the way or should be done by the patient with observance from a family member.
7. Have a sense of humor. As explained above, the patient can feel sadness too. Try to lighten up the mood and crack some jokes. It does help the family deal with such crisis.